Fairytale

I haven't had a fairy tale romance in a long time, I haven't fallen in love in a long time, I haven't felt so nervous around a guy I could barely speak in a really really long time. I haven't had the crazy butterflies, or lose my breath each time I think about someone. It's been years, in fact only one other time in my life have I felt like this and that was with Yannick.
But this week, it happened again. :)
It happened with Alex, and I am in love and infatuated and I want him to like me and notice me and even just talk to me, but he is also completely unattainable.
Why do I want him so badly? I want his lifestyle, and I want his mind, and I want his freedom and warmth and love. I want to be with him, just by his side, backpacking through the wilderness. He's seen the world, and he's living a life of adventure and thrill and freedom and he's just perfect.
I was such an idiot in front of him though, and I would kill to have one more chance with him. I just want to, have to, see him one more time.
I loved the way he looked and talked and smelled. Oh my goodness, that smell was heaven. He gave me that scarf of his and I literally feel a sense of euphoria every time I smell it. I don't know if he'll ever contact me again though, I'm trying to be patient, and I'm trying to have hope, because why else would he have given me his number and said he wanted to meet again some time? He's gone for a week in Escalante, and I just texted him, I shouldn't have, I should have just waited, I don't want to seem over eager and freak him out. He probably knows how much I like him though, I've messaged him last and texted last and texted again. I am not texting him ever again. I can't until he texts me. I just can't do that, I'm not desperate and I'm not pathetic like that. If he doesn't want to be with me, then I can accept that. I just hope and pray and wish more than anything that he will text me.
Those eyes, and that laugh and the smile. Haha I laugh just thinking about it. We talked for hours and I was more nervous than I've ever been before, but I didn't want to leave, ever. That van, that adorable van. And he laughed at my jokes and told me I was so darn cute. haha except he didn't say darn. :)
I'm going to see him again, I have to.
And if I don't, then I'll have had the most amazing night of my post-mission life and keep this fairytale forever.