Fire

The day he died, I died too
Because when the only person
that you are real with
is gone

The only one who knew you
and accepted you
and encouraged you
is dead...

Not just out of your life
but not even existing
how can you be sure,
you exist anymore either?

It's three years,
and I'm a completely
different person but,
I still can't get over it
and I probably
never will.

When I meet someone
boring, I miss him, or
great, and I dream it's him
but mostly, they don't touch me

Guys on every spectrum
like a match
an immature sparkler
when my blazing sun just set

The person I rebuilt
it doesn't know how to love
like the old one did

And I keep making analogies of fire
because that's how it felt.
Fire is the closest thing to life
and I am the closest thing to substance

Matter, impersonating image
I'm being dramatic
It's not that big of deal
being on an equal playing field
as everyone else

Is this what normal life is like?
If it is, I wish I was still special
Does no one feel?
Is there no passion
in this forsaken wilderness of gray?

How did I age so much in three years
The fire is gone
and lives in grief
pain is the last glowing ember
of the vitality I knew