Here's an old post I wrote but didn't publish. It's from August after I came home to go to school, but before I found out Yannick had died.
8/15/14
A few months ago, I was in love with the man of my dreams! He was everything I wanted in a man, handsome and masculine, smart, ambitious, and hard working, he had values and self discipline, he made me laugh, was sexy as anything, and he absolutely adored me. Even though it's been a while since we broke up, I still believe he had everything I wanted. Well, except for one thing which I discovered meant everything to me. My religion. That was the deal breaker and the reason I'm not married now and living in Seattle with him.
Through a very difficult few months I had it cemented into my heart that I want to marry a guy that loves God and will help me love God more every day. Because without that important piece to a relationship, nothing else matters. He was my dream guy, but even that wasn't enough, because without a relationship with God, he wasn't the man I could spend eternity with.
It broke my heart to say goodbye to this man, but I've finally recovered. I know that someone will come along and have everything that this guy did, but he'll be a strong member of the church.
So, after my adventure in Iowa, working in a genetics and biochemistry lab, I came home to Utah and I'll admit, the first thing I thought of when I drove into town, was him. I didn't mean to, but when we drove down the road he and I had walked so many times, I immediately saw him standing there in his green v-neck, books under his arm, with that same grin he always had for me.
It's been rough returning to the town where he haunts my days.
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