I am a Biologist, FO' REAL!

Sooo lately I've been thinking about my future as a biologist. I used to go to a research University and I was in an actual lab doing real research. Yeah it was pretty freakin' sweet. Well, now I'm back in my hometown and I'm going to a nice little university that doesn't have a single Ph.d program to boast of. Sad sad sad. So, will I ever be a real Biologist again? YES! I won't give up on that because even though I'm not in the best position for my career right now, I have plenty of time. I'll get there, and I'll be the coolest Biologist evah! http://www.neuro.utah.edu/labs/williams/Site/People.html

Above is a little link-y if you want to go see the lab I was in. It was a neuroscience lab, so so legit! The link takes you to the People page, I'm in the past lab members section at the very bottom. Look at the research stuff though, it's coolio stuff.

11/4/13

Okay, so I totally wrote that little doo hicky post up there, like 6 months ago and what do you know? I am at the University of Iowa as we speak getting ready to start a research program on Tuesday!!! I don't know what else to say other than, don't give up on your dreams kids! I made it into a summer undergraduate research program and I start in Lori Wallrath's lab this week. Man, am I excited to do some lab work again! Actually, I am excited for this research opportunity for a whole myriad of reasons-

1. I will be out of my small town, in a big(ger) town- I love cities and people and life!

2. I will get to hang out with awesome like-minded, biology interested kids, and we can talk about nerdy stuff that no one else understands quite as well as we need them to.

3. This will look amazing on an application to grad school.

4. I finally get to study EPIGENETICS (My LOVE) 

5. I get to live in a whole new state that I've never been to! (Fits perfectly with my plan of living in various places for a few months at a time)

6. I get paid for doing something I love! :-) (All of my previous work experiences have been slightly awful customer service experiences, so this is no less than a miracle)

So, those are some of the reasons why I am so happy and so excited about life right now. :-) Go Hawkeyes!

Institute Reflection

While in college I have had the amazing opportunity to take religion classes during my regular class schedule at the university I attend. I've taken a total of five different classes for the past two years, and I learned so much more about the Savior, His ministry, and His restored church in all of them. However, I feel I have grown the most spiritually as a result of the most recent institute class I took.

This past semester I took a class that was focused solely on the Savior's Atonement and the options of Repentance and Forgiveness that are made available because of it. Because of the things that I learned in that class about the nature of the Atonement, the scriptures I studied, and personal experiences and trials I've had this semester, I think I've grown more that I have from any other experience.

This opportunity to look at the Atonement on a deeper level helped me realize so many things I had never even thought about before. I've tried to organize my thoughts, in the best way possible in the following paragraphs, but only reading my thoughts won't convey the significance this new perspective has had on my life, a personal study and understanding is crucial.

I learned that the Atonement is individual.

In the class we talked about the Atoning Sacrifice. Christ began suffering for our sins when He was in the Garden of Gethsemane. While there he was tempted with every possible temptation, physical, spiritual, and emotional. He felt every pain and sorrow while he was there. He felt the same heavy heart I experienced when my Grandmother passed away, when I missed my family while I was away at school, He experienced that worry and stress that I felt when I was trying to figure out a way to pay for college. He felt the throbbing of my twisted ankle, the ache after my surgery and the fatigue I felt every day from walking through the snow in my cast. In the garden He physically felt the same rejection, sadness, and heartbreak I have ever experienced in my lowest times.

He suffered all of these things so He would have perfect empathy. In Alma 7:12 reads:

... and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to ^csuccor his people according to their infirmities.

Christ could have asked Heavenly Father to show him how all of those sadness and sicknesses of the world and he could have known in his mind what all of them were like. But, our Savior chose to suffer all of those things physically himself. The same chemical reactions with the same neurotransmitters that occur in my mind to physically manifest sadness to my body were being manifested in His. He literally suffered everything in the way we suffer. And He did this so He would know, and FEEL, exactly what we go through so he could perfectly understand us, and have perfect empathy. 

In the class we talked about the Road to Golgotha and the Cross.

After Christ had paid the price for our sins and had suffered our infirmities, He only had death left to conquer for the Atonement to be complete. So why did he have to travel that road to Golgotha? After leaving the Garden of Gethsemane in His incredibly weakened state, Christ was subjected to hours of scrutiny, judgement, mockery, physical abuse, and betrayal. When the pharisees and soldiers spat upon him and slapped his face, when they whipped him with stripes that would kill any other man, He kept his cool. He continued his journey and responded perfectly in a God-like way to it all.  

I learned how the Atonement pays for our sins, and how Christ's Atonement satisfies justice and mercy.

While in the Garden of Gethsemane, in the same way that He felt all of our sorrows and pains, Christ also was subjected to every temptation any person has ever had. From the temptation a pedophile has to rape a child, or a serial killer has to murder, to the temptation and desperation a heroin addict feels to get his next fix, or the temptation to cheat, lie, steal or commit any other sin, Christ felt them all. He was tempted with every temptation ever known to mankind, and yet our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ did not give into temptation. Not even a "small" sin. He overcame every one and did not give even an inch. And then he felt the pain that those sins cause. He paid the price for the sins he had not stooped to. Justice owed him because He had suffered the punishment for something He didn't deserve. He owned justice and now He could grant mercy on his terms.

That mercy is the only way we can repent now. After sinning we were in debt to justice, but now we are debtors to Christ who paid that price. He has set the terms of repentance and made a way for reconciliation. Because of the Atonement we are not damned, we are not stopped from progressing. 

In this class I learned that is our central purpose for being on Earth; to progress.

As a young and rebellious LDS girl, I was blinded by the rules. 

I saw a massive rule book that I was taught would save me and help me, but I could never see how. Now I know there is a rule book, but they are not arbitrary rules. Those rules are guidelines and following them or disobeying them is a personal choice that will lead us closer or further to becoming like God.

I want to become like God. I want to be in His presence and become like him, because I know that I am His child and I was destined to become like my Father. I already am part god and through Christ's atonement I can repent of my sins, and through His Grace I can improve over time until my nature has changed and I am like Him.

Because Christ experienced all of the temptations I will ever face and he didn't give in, He can show me how to respond to those same temptations in a Godly way. When he walked the road to Golgotha, in the midst of all of those people that hated and rejected Him, He responded to them like the God He was, and He can help me do the same in my life when I encounter hard situations and unpleasant people. Because He knows everyone's sorrows, He knows exactly what we need to help us feel better and overcome those challenges, and by turning to Him we can have those burdens lifted and He can show us how to help lift others' burdens as well. 

The Atonement was made so we can return to God's presence. An Atonement literally means an "At-one-ment" the purpose of the atonement is to bring us back in harmony with God through repentance and also to bring us closer to Him as we try to become better. His Grace is sufficient for all men that will humble themselves. If we turn to God and follow his commandments, if we try to be at one with him and we don't give up when it is hard, his grace will lift us. It will help us progress and do good in ways we won't notice until we look back on how far we've come. Grace is the enabling and strengthening power God gives to help us do good and be righteous.

Life is not meaningless. We are here to become like God. We needed to experience opposition and temptation and sadness so we could learn to deal with those things like a god would. We are here to learn, to progress, to become like our Father. We are not perfect though, so Father made a plan that we could have help, through Christ making an Atonement and showing us the way to become At One with God. I know this is true, as I studied the scriptures, and conference talks and thought about it in my own life, all of this resonated so strongly within me. I believe it with my whole heart and soul. This is truth!  Through the power of Christ's Atonement I can become like God and live with him, like him, forever.

Further Reading/References*
Conference Talks:
http://jesuschrist.lds.org/SonOfGod/eng/his-life-and-teachings/articles/the-atonement-of-jesus-christ
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1991/04/a-crown-of-thorns-a-crown-of-glory?lang=eng
https://www.lds.org/ensign/1977/05/the-mediator?lang=eng
http://speeches.byu.edu/?act=viewitem&id=251
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2000/10/the-challenge-to-become?lang=eng

Scripture References
Alma 7
John 17
Bible Dictionary- Grace
Hebrews 4

*Not a very extensive list of references. Will add more in the future

Princess

The princess went to war

Not called, she served for passing thrill

Foes could never match the skill

Of one whose passions led her fight

But every warrior has their end,

Her match, her test, in sunlight came

An opponent never dreamed,

 expectations surely met

The princess took her fall

Sustaining a dagger in her side

The pain unlike any other wound
Her pride, her life, her love of fight
All wilted as a blood red rose
The dagger shown to parents King
Forbidden from the battle ground

Never pulling out she chose to hide

She hid the dagger still in side

The pain reminded her each day

Vulnerability, lost love, and foolish thrill
Until the battle came to her

A night under the stars

The foe returned to her side

Showed him the dagger and returned,

To him that love, her foolish pride

Living With Mono: The Ups and Downs

So, I said I would post about living with Mono again, but I didn't expect to write about it again so soon. Then this weekend happened and it was like having Mono was making me see everything in a new light.

So, having Mono totally sucks! I hate being tired. All through high school and my life I've always tried to monitor my sleep schedule so that I get around 8 hours of sleep every night and stick to a pretty solid bedtime, just because I like to get up early and have a productive day and that is super hard to do if you don't have a good basis of sleep to work with. Well, since getting sick around a week and a half ago, I haven't had a good night's sleep once! I am suddenly an insomniac and it is AWFUL! I'm just tired all of the time and then when it's finally time to sleep I can't, either because my head hurts too badly to sleep or my neck can't get comfortable on my pillow or I'm thirsty or my throat just kills. So, that was the dire situation on Friday that I was facing. 

Friday (Not one of my best days, I'll admit):

8:00 a.m. Got up after a horrible night sleep.

9:00 a.m. Dragged myself to class, unshowered and ready to go right back to bed.

11:00 a.m. Drove home and got into work out clothes(my pajamas from the night before) Turned on my Jillian Michaels Killer Buns and Thighs tape and made it through the warmup and the first two exercises before I gave up out of complete exhaustion.

--Laid on the couch in a Mono induced zombie state.

12:00 p.m. Cancelled a study session with my Math study buddy.

12:30 p.m. Turned on National Treasure.

1:00 p.m. Dragged myself off the couch to make lunch. I had no appetite, but I realized my stomach kind of hurt, so I thought food would help.

Anyone that knows me well will already see what a mess I was in. I consider myself a pretty motivated person, and even when I am tired or stressed or just don't want to do something like exercise or homework I can pretty much get myself going and jump into it. Another thing about me, I don't usually watch movies, especially not alone, and never during the most productive part of the day.

As I laid there on the couch in a messy house, unshowered, with homework and exercise being neglected, not even texting my friends, it reminded me of one other time in my life when I had lost all motivation. One weekend right after I had moved out, I learned that my grandma had just passed away. I had just finished a very hard stressful week at school and I was just so tired. That weekend like this Friday, I had just laid in my bed, shut out from the world, and watched movies. 

3:00 p.m. I got up. My sister called me saying she needed a ride to the testing center and so I got up to help her out. I brought along a leftover milkshake I had in the freezer. As Catherine took her test I laid in my car, eating ice cream and listening to a Christian rock station on the radio. Still not very productive, but at least I was out of the house. :)

4:00 p.m. I did my easy homework

6:30 p.m. Went to my little sisters' piano recital and ate lots of the cookies there.

8:00 p.m. Back at home. This is when I started to freak out a little bit. I was reviewing my day in my head and just thinking about how intensely gross I felt. All I'd had since 1:00 that day was sugar: ice cream, sugar-y cereal, brownies and a cookie. I hadn't worked out at all because I was too tired to do a single squat. I had laid around in dirty workout clothes/pajamas watching movies and only doing a couple easy school assignments. Plus I was still tired. Was this what my life would be like for the next two months of having Mono? I couldn't bear the thought.

But like the saying goes, when you've hit rock bottom, the only way you can go is up!

That night I took some ibuprofin right before I went to bed. In addition, I left a full water bottle by my bedside. When I woke up in the night I drank water and could go right back to sleep. Since having Mono I've had to sleep with my mouth open in order to keep my airway open because of my swollen tonsils and mild asthma. Since I live in such a dry place, I realized my insomnia was in large part due to dehydration and a dry mouth and throat.

 The next morning after trying those new tricks I felt almost normal! So, I headed to the gym. I actually did a real workout! I love designing my own strength training workouts. Since getting sick though, I haven't had enough energy to really do one, cause they're pretty intense. Jillian Michael's book Slim for Life gave some guidelines to design a good circuit training work out and they are killer, but build muscle so quickly. As I was doing the workout at the gym, a lady on one of the elliptical machines saw me checking the workout plan I had made and asked what program I was doing, I told her I used Jillian Michaels' book to design my own program, she said that was very impressive. I was just thinking, "Aw yeah! And that's from a girl with Mono!" It was pretty awesome. :) 

The rest of my day wasn't as great as that morning, but I felt better that I had gotten a work out in, so even though I was tired, I didn't have a panic attack about losing all my muscle again.

The next day was Sunday. Again, I used my tricks of ibuprofin before bed and then water in the night. I woke up feeling pretty good, to top things off, after church I had a giant smoothie and I can barely feel the Mono getting to me!
Two good days to the one bad, isn't a horrible ratio, and hopefully using the tricks I've learned, the good days will highly outnumber the bad!

6 Tips and Tricks for living with Mononucleosis

1. Take ibuprofin! It helps with swollen tonsils, lymph nodes, and headache

2. Take ibuprofin before bed! Makes sleeping a lot easier

3. Hydrate up! Drink lots of water all the time, keep a water bottle by your bed

4. Eat at mealtimes. Mono can suppress appetite so even

 if food doesn't sound appealing, eat-- it helps with fatigue

5. Watch your sugar intake. Even though it seems like it will give you energy,

 too much will just make you feel worse.

6. Be patient with yourself. If you can't exercise one day, don't beat yourself up for it.

Mono

So, I've been feeling slightly ill for a week or so now, nothing too serious, just  fatigue, swollen lymph glands in my neck, and then recently I developed a sore throat. Anyone that has some medical experience will probably see that fateful triad along with my college age and know exactly what I have. But for me, who is probably the only Bio major that doesn't study about everyday occurring diseases, I had not a clue what my symptoms indicated.

 A couple days ago the sore throat got to be extremely painful, my tonsils were all aflame and it looked like Strep throat. So, I went to the doctor. He asked a few questions and looked at my throat and said to me, I think we'll need to do some blood work, and test for Mono. Wait a second... MONO!!!???

Of all of the diseases my hypochondriac brain could conceive, from throat cancer to Strep to leukemia I had not even thought of Mono once. I was in sort of a denial as the friendly Phlebotemist took my sample, and then five minutes later I was told that indeed, I had Mononucleosis.

I left the doctor's office to go to my Psychology class. During the class I read the info packet the doctor had given me. I knew a little about Mono, but I learned a lot more during the next couple of days-

Mononucleosis Facts

1. It's known as the kissing disease

2. It is spread through saliva through kissing or sharing drinks, toothbrushes or eating utensils

3. It is caused by the Epstein-Barr virus

4. 90% of the population will have had the virus by the time they are 40

5. The virus only causes Mononucleosis if the primary(first time)

 exposure is during adolescent and young adult years

6. You only get Mono once

 7. After you've had the disease, small amounts of the virus

 may periodically reoccur in your saliva

8. Symptoms are a sore throat, swollen lymph glands, 

fatigue, and mild fever lasting about 2 weeks,

 then lingering fatigue and malaise (feeling of general discomfort)

 for about 2 more months

9. It enlarges your spleen, which can cause it to rupture

10. There is no cure

So let's start with number one, it's known as the kissing disease. I always associated Mono with kissing and thereby never thought I would have to worry about getting it. Getting Mono was always a joke with my friends and me, I had a good friend whose sister had gotten Mono up at college (she said from a drinking fountain, not from kissing), so whenever we shared a water bottle she always called it her mono water and warned me about it.

I'm kind of a joking hypochondriac. My sister and I rarely get sick, we have been blessed with amazing immune systems, but we jokingly say whenever we have a headache or heartburn or any symptom it is always a form of cancer, heart disease, or AIDS. I know that's terrible because some people really have those, but being a teenager I don't think those can harm me, so I feel safe joking about them. With my sister and my study buddy at school I've joked about having almost every disease I've heard of, every one except for Mono.

The point is, Mono was always a joke in my mind, something I'd never get. When the doctor told me I had it, I didn't believe him. When I told my family I had it, they didn't believe it either. My older sister actually started to laugh.

Now that I've had Mono for a couple days I've decided it's not going to be so bad. It's not really that embarrassing, only slightly painful and it does have some perks, for instance, now that I have Mono I don't have to worry about any boys other than mono-ridden ones wanting to kiss me, (cough cough, Yannick Periou) and second, I don't have to worry about anyone stealing my ice cream out of the freezer which I marked it "BIOHAZARD-May contain Mono!" :) 

I could write about how horrible Mono makes sleeping and exercising and trying to have enough energy to do anything, but I'd rather dwell on the positive. As long as I take ibuprofin regularly, I just feel like I haven't had enough sleep, which most teenagers feel like anyway. 

Well, I'll be posting more about living with Mono, but that's all for now, good night!

Families Are Part of God's Plan

Today was the Primary Program, yay! My little sister Gracianne was giving a talk in it about how Families are central to the Creator's plan. So like that wonderful and helpful sister I am, I helped her write the talk.

Here's what we wrote:

My talk is about how families are a part of Heavenly Father’s plan. In The Family a Proclamation to the World it says that marriage between a man and woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of his children.

There are three main reasons why we come to this earth. The first is to gain a body. The second is to have Earthly experiences and learn to make good choices. And the last reason is to make covenants that help us gain eternal life. The family helps us in all of these.

Families helped us to gain a body through the marriage of a man and woman having children. The first commandment God gave Adam and Eve was about having children. In the Proclamation it says that His commandment to multiply and replenish the earth is still in force today.

The second reason is to get earthly experiences and learn to make good choices. Families help us in this by supporting us. Parents can teach their children right and wrong and be good examples. In families we can learn to love like God loves us.

Lastly, Families help us to make covenants that help us gain eternal life. We can only gain the highest level of the celestial kingdom if we are married in the temple. Families can help us prepare for the temple covenants. When you are married you and your spouse start your own family.

To close I’d like to read the words to the song Families can be together forever:

I have a family here on earth

they are so good to me

I want to share my life with them through all eternity.

Families can be together forever

through Heavenly Father’s plan

I always want to be with my own family

and the Lord has shown me how I can.

I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

I'm so proud of my little sister, she already knows so much about why we're here, where we came from and where we are going after death. Those are questions that people throughout the world struggle to find answers to and already my sweet 11 year old sister knows the truth to answer all of those inquiries.

I'm so grateful for the Proclamation to the World about Families. I know that families really are part of God's  eternal plan for us. I am so grateful to know that if I live righteously that someday I can go to one of God's temples and be married and sealed for all eternity to my future husband and family. We are sent to families to learn to love and  become more like God. I know that death is not the end for families, but that those relationships are carried on after this life and that we really can be with our family members forever.

What Makes Me Happy

Some thoughts about what makes me happy (in no particular order of course).

1- Rain. I just love it. It smells amazing, makes everything sparkly, cleans out the smog from the city, and cools everything down. It is also perfect for singing, dancing, and kissing in. Which by the way, also makes me happy.

2- Good Food. I prefer to make this myself, because then I can make sure it is good for me as well as tasting good. Put good in, get good out. Taste can be a wonderful sensation and nothing beats a well planned meal.

3- My Family. I could go on and on about how much my family means to me. They understand me, and love me, and always let me know they miss me and will welcome me back home anytime. We have fun together, we have memories together, and I have learned so much from each of them.

4- Knowing I am a child of God. Knowing God loves me and that he would give anything for me, and already has, fills me with incredible joy. At times when no one is around and I feel lonely or unsure of myself, I know I can turn to him and he will guide my life. I am so grateful to Him for the blessings and guidance I have already received in my life.

5- Running. It is such a good outlet for me. Running was the first thing I tried that I wasn't good at and I stuck with it anyway. I have wonderful memories of running with my friends and family. It makes me feel good and it gives me confidence that I can do hard things.

6- Ice. I don't know why I love it so much. Sucking or (sorry) crunching on ice is amazing. It is delicious and hydrating and makes my mouth feel fresh and shivery.

7- Music. Some music can just change my whole day. I love making my own by either playing my cello, trumpet, piano, or more often, just by singing. Finding a good, uplifting song and belting it out all over my house just brings joy to my soul for some crazy reason.

So, those are a few of the things that make me happy. This went a little longer than I expected, but it makes sense I guess, since there are so many things in this life that are here to bring us joy. 7-15-12