I am exuberant.
I am full of excitement.
I am full of sadness.
I am full of guilt.
I am unfaithful.
I'm in love.
There is no question of what I will do.
I'll marry the one who will always be here for me.
I'll marry Robert who loves me eternally.
But he won't know, there's no replacing my first love.
He doesn't know that there was a fire in my heart that will never burn for him
Yannick will die. Yannick will leave. I will still hold him in my heart, but he will not hold me.
I'll never let go. And I'll always hold on. And I knew from the beginning, he couldn't be mine.
Four years ago I knew, I knew with black pain in my heart, no matter how badly I wanted, and dreamed and wished it, I couldn't have him, not for a moment.
I knew from that very first trip in his car. He was out of my reach, and I could only go so far. This love in my breast, this passion, and pain. I will hold on through the night, hold out through the rain. I can't have him. I won't, I shouldn't, I don't. I have something real, something good and whole.
This is the most painful experience, I'll ever savor on my tongue. And I'll never let go of the wanting and crushing, and burning. I'll never forgive, this lesson I'm learning.
And Robert won't know, my secret, this passion. I'm an addict, a sinner, a filthy thief in the night. I stole his heart, and I gave him mine, but I have two and one's impossible to find.
I left that with Yannick. Now I leave it for good, but it's still apart of me, although ancient and stained.When I walk by the corner, where he waited for me, when I think of the night he left me a rose, I think of the warm breeze when we sat on his roof, and I know I'll keep the memories sealed up as my proof. I'll love him forever, I'll think of his face, I can't leave him behind, despite the disgrace.
I'm in love with two men, for separate worlds of reason.
But I'm engaged, so to one I say goodbye for a season.
